At 12:11pm on July 24th, the Moon was New again. While I realize this is probably the latest in a cycle I’ve posted an intention, I have lived with this since before the Moon was New.

In the last cycle I had been focused on Waiting, realizing that I had a propensity to wait for some kind of inspired alignment before taking action on things; I acknowledged that it’s always time and I’m always here, and in doing so I realized that sometimes we can just act out of instinct rather than “waiting for a moment that just don’t come”.

The song from last cycle, “It’s All I Can Do” by The Cars, contains the chorus “It’s all I can do, to keep waiting for you.”… More...

At 6:32am on June 25th, the Moon was New again. While I may be posting this a few days after the fact, the theme has been on my mind for well over a week now.

The focus for the last cycle was Joy—and in that post, I contrasted my desire for joy with my persistent sense of anxiety. Through the course of the month, I recognized that while my perception of this is uniquely my own, the conceptual challenges are not. If there was a plot to a movie contrasting Joy and anxiety, there must be a lot of people this touches.

What is unique, though, are the circumstances that keep me sitting in this space.

This came into focus for me during last week’s heatwave.… More...

At 11:02pm on May 26th, the Moon was New again. Leading up to that moon, I was convinced what the theme was going to be! I prepared for it; I researched it – but a moment from a few days before was stuck in my brain and wouldn’t dislodge.

In the last post on Apologies, I spoke about the origins of the word Sorry being from the base of the noun “sore.” Its synonyms in this case include ‘pained’ and ‘distressed.’ On reflection, this brought me back to a diagnosis from a psychologist 20 years ago – sure, I had generalized anxiety and obsessive-compulsive disorders – but I also had what amounted to dysphoria. This was explained as the antonym of euphoria; I am predisposed to see the glass as half-empty.… More...

At 3:11pm on Sunday, April 27th, the Moon was new again. I’ve been ready for this one — the idea for the focus came right on the heels of the last cycle’s post. In that last post, I focused on Apologies, and drawing on lessons garnered from an earlier post on Mattering, I came to the realization that at least part of my reflexive need to apologize was rooted in a deep absence of self-worth.

That feeling is pervasive throughout my life. There are many times when I just don’t feel deserving to be in any particular situation. It seems that regardless of how much verbal affirmation I may get, part of me still thinks that people feel some sense of obligation to make me feel accepted, welcomed, or valued.… More...

At 6:58am on Saturday morning, the Moon was New again. This may be one of the soonest times I’ve posted after a New Moon – but something occurred to me a few days ago that is creating a pretty deep dive.

The past couple of posts have been focused on community – both Fraternity and Support were outwardly focused. It was during the Crossroads post on November 14th that I had said, “I have the privilege of directing my energies outwards rather than just focusing on myself”. But this week, a long-standing bit of self-identification ran into an introspective moment of “but why”. I didn’t like the answer.

For as long as I can remember, the phrase “I’m sorry” has been reflexive.… More...