Tag: New Moon

Zero

On January 18th at 2:52pm, the Moon was New again. I think it’s interesting how every cycle it’s New – not so much recycled as reborn. A tangent? Maybe. But probably not.

In the last post I had focused on Presentation – specifically differentiating it from being Present. I talked about how throughout my life I had adapted by creating public-facing versions of myself, and fabricating the realities they lived in. I also talked about the personal cost of doing that, despite the alleged protection it offered.

I also spoke about how, in the hospital, there was no room for a Presentation. I had to “be vulnerable, scared, trusting, and brave—all at once. I had to simply ‘be.’”

The time in the hospital saw Presentation peeled away until there was only “me” left.… More...

Presentation

On December 19th at 8:43pm, the Moon was New for the last time in 2025 – just before the Solstice and the other winter holidays, so there hadn’t been a lot of time for introspection. In fact, it felt like life had been supplanted by the struggle to keep up the pace.

January has brought physical and emotional quiet though – and a gentle re-centering. The last New Moon post was on November 20th, and dealt with the theme of Paths. During that time I was experiencing changes in both my Spiritual and Professional Paths – these were unavoidable, and I don’t hold any grief or remorse – but they are still changes to fundamental aspects of my journey. In the post I recounted how noticing a dime or encountering a dog named Zeus actually helped to ground me through these transitions.… More...

Paths

At 1:47am this morning the moon was New. This is twice in a row that I’m posting on the actual day of the New Moon. Time may be a wibbly-wobbly artificial construct, but that doesn’t mean it’s not important.

Over the last cycle I focused on Care, and in the last post I talked about how, when I was in the hospital in July, I felt truly and deeply Cared for in a way that was unfamiliar to me.

I think one of the differences in that sensation might have been that I trusted the intention behind the Care in a way that I’d never let myself experience before. I know that people have Cared for me in fundamental ways, but my conditioning meant their Care always felt transactional.… More...

Care

This morning at 8:25am the Moon was New. I honestly don’t know if I have ever posted this close to the moment. I wouldn’t call this the start of a trend, but maybe the reaffirmation of an intention.

For the past cycle I studied the property of Fortitude and examined how I bring it to my life. I spoke of it in terms of standing up and claiming what serves my greatest good. I also spoke about how the resolute advocacy brought by Fortitude can be disconcerting to those who might not be expecting it from me, or may not be manifesting it in themselves.

My journey with Fortitude began as I was moving through the gallbladder surgery and healing. While I noted in the last post that it began with my sister calling me “brave”, I’ve found that it started earlier than that.… More...

Fortitude

At 3:54pm on September 21st the Moon was New. I’m running behind schedule again this cycle, though I am still working through giving myself grace around things. As we said last cycle – “just be glad to be here.”

In the last post I talked about Priority, and how I was finally finding that I am worth being a Priority to myself, and “recognizing that the causes of anxiety that I had placed ahead of my well-being do not deserve the Priority I had unwillingly given them.” Saying this and owning it was huge for me – even more so is living that truth without fear. I had also said that “The people who love and care for you will understand or adapt, or not…”

That fear of abandonment is strong, but does being abandoned by people who can’t accept who you are, or where you are on your path, really count as abandonment?… More...

Priority

At 2:07am on August 23rd, the Moon was New again. I am admittedly still working on getting any kind of a rhythm back, but I’m getting better – in many ways.

In the last post, I recognized the sense of Dualism I was living through. I described how my mind and my body at first felt disjointed, but eventually began to walk together on the path toward healing. That healing is ongoing, but the Impatience and Dualism have given way to appreciation.

I am still in a frame of mind where I reflect on those weeks in the hospital. The moments of joy and the moments of despair turned into a soup of existence. Everything distilled over time into its essence.… More...

Dualism

At 12:11pm on July 24th, the Moon was New again. While I realize this is probably the latest in a cycle I’ve posted an intention, I have lived with this since before the Moon was New.

In the last cycle I had been focused on Waiting, realizing that I had a propensity to wait for some kind of inspired alignment before taking action on things; I acknowledged that it’s always time and I’m always here, and in doing so I realized that sometimes we can just act out of instinct rather than “waiting for a moment that just don’t come”.

The song from last cycle, “It’s All I Can Do” by The Cars, contains the chorus “It’s all I can do, to keep waiting for you.”… More...

Waiting

At 6:32am on June 25th, the Moon was New again. While I may be posting this a few days after the fact, the theme has been on my mind for well over a week now.

The focus for the last cycle was Joy—and in that post, I contrasted my desire for joy with my persistent sense of anxiety. Through the course of the month, I recognized that while my perception of this is uniquely my own, the conceptual challenges are not. If there was a plot to a movie contrasting Joy and anxiety, there must be a lot of people this touches.

What is unique, though, are the circumstances that keep me sitting in this space.

This came into focus for me during last week’s heatwave.… More...

Joy

At 11:02pm on May 26th, the Moon was New again. Leading up to that moon, I was convinced what the theme was going to be! I prepared for it; I researched it – but a moment from a few days before was stuck in my brain and wouldn’t dislodge.

In the last post on Apologies, I spoke about the origins of the word Sorry being from the base of the noun “sore.” Its synonyms in this case include ‘pained’ and ‘distressed.’ On reflection, this brought me back to a diagnosis from a psychologist 20 years ago – sure, I had generalized anxiety and obsessive-compulsive disorders – but I also had what amounted to dysphoria. This was explained as the antonym of euphoria; I am predisposed to see the glass as half-empty.… More...

Goodbye

At 3:11pm on Sunday, April 27th, the Moon was new again. I’ve been ready for this one — the idea for the focus came right on the heels of the last cycle’s post. In that last post, I focused on Apologies, and drawing on lessons garnered from an earlier post on Mattering, I came to the realization that at least part of my reflexive need to apologize was rooted in a deep absence of self-worth.

That feeling is pervasive throughout my life. There are many times when I just don’t feel deserving to be in any particular situation. It seems that regardless of how much verbal affirmation I may get, part of me still thinks that people feel some sense of obligation to make me feel accepted, welcomed, or valued.… More...